Are you afraid to die?

Death, the only certain thing in life, evokes our greatest fear. It brings grief, sadness, and often resentment. Why? Because we're not doing what truly resonates with us. Unfortunately, we lack the courage to make a change. We fear losing money, disappointing our loved ones, or being labeled as 'crazy' more than following our heart's desires. Let me ask you this: If you were to die tomorrow, how would you look back upon your life? Would you look back with a big smile and happiness or with disappointment? If it's the latter, keep reading. Because, my dear friend, it's time for a new beginning.

Written by: Melissa Magdalena 

Picture taken in september 2022 during a 'Life Burial', arranged by Ines Ferreira-Norman.  

Let me begin by stating that the process of rebirth is far from easy. It involves a path of self-exploration and challenging your long-held beliefs. It requires immense courage, determination, and a steadfast trust in your own capabilities. Throughout your life, you have absorbed beliefs from your surroundings – your family, friends, and colleagues. These beliefs are integrated as truths. It seems everyone is conforming, so you feel the pressure to conform as well. Should you come up with a different mindset, you might start believing that something is "wrong" with you. As if that weren't enough, your self-worth is based on others' opinions, material possessions, and the size of your bank account. Let me ask you a question: How truly important are these factors in living a happy life?

What if all (or one big one) of these factors would fall away? That’s when you enter a life changing moment. It is a moment in life that shatters all your beliefs into fragments. For me, that moment arrived in February 2020. Back then, I worked as a highly accomplished Lead Recruiter in Amsterdam. I had an incredible job, an impressive salary for my age, a beautiful home, a fit physique, and a busy social life. I had it all. However, it demanded 50-60 hours of work per week, six workouts weekly, and constant rushing around. This was my definition of success and happiness. I was identified with my career.

More about my personal journey can be found here.

You can wait for a life changing moment to mess up with your life. Let me assure you, such a moment will inevitably come. We were not meant to conform to society's expectations and live our lives accordingly. Luckily, there is an alternative path available. Deep down, you sense that something needs to change. Are you willing to listen to that inner voice? Are you ready to show courage to confront whatever challenges lie ahead? Society urges us to keep going, to consume, to work endlessly, anything that keeps us distracted from truly feeling, experiencing, and healing. But I offer you a different perspective. I’m here to ask you to STOP. Take a moment to pause and reconsider all that you are currently engaged in. Examine yourself and your life with curious eyes.

Dying takes time
For me, the version of the “successful business woman” had to die in order to make space for a new perspective. Who am I underneath this layer? We’re covered in layers, and peeling them all down takes patience. We often divert our attention from this process. I must admit, healing can be painful. It may lead you to confront unsightly, unpleasant, and discomforting aspects of your being. This is precisely why society has constructed a seductive external world, providing an escape from our inner selves. Additionally, numerous distractions exist to keep us from truly feeling and starting on our healing journey. How to start looking at yourself on deeper levels?

How would it feel if you started living on your terms? Because that’s what is waiting for you on the other side. As Leonard Cohen states “We’re all broken, that’s how the light gets in.” 

When you start on a journey of healing and self-discovery, something incredible happens. You start seeing the stories and beliefs that held you back, setting yourself free. You have to go through the mud, but it will bring you inner peace, self-acceptance, and deeper connections with others. The weight of old wounds fades away. They will be replaced by emotional liberation and renewed passion for life. You will become stronger, with more self love than ever before, and realize your true worth. The process of death and rebirth, will ultimately bring you a life full of joy, abundance and fulfillment. 

So, let me ask you again: Are you afraid to die?

Change is scary, unknown and painful. During my own journey I came across people who always supported me on some level. Nevertheless, I always felt alone. Society tells us to be strong, independent and never show weaknesses. I want to tell you something different. You have to do the work by yourself, but not alone. Love heals. So does nature, true connections, understanding and compassion. 

“I want to be the best version of me for anyone who one day walks into my life who needs to be loved without reason” Not just words. A promise. 

With love, 
Melissa & Marjolein 

Here are some suggestions that you can start implementing today:

• Absolute number one: prioritize spending time with yourself and doing things YOU love to do. 
• Disconnect from screens and social media. Put on a timer or set your phone on “do not disturb” mode. You are the master of your input, not the other way around.
• Reduce your exposure to external news (focus on your own well-being instead).
  
• Consider minimizing habits such as smoking, alcohol, drug use, excessive sugar consumption, or any other obsessive behaviors.
• Meditate and/or spend time in nature, try walking barefoot to feel the earth
• Go for a swim in natural water. Water is healing, purifying and washes away heavy energies.
• Practice honesty with your surroundings. Tell them “I’m not doing okay, but I need time for myself. I will get back to you later.” There is no need to hide when you’re not doing so well. 
• Welcome emotions that arise without judgment. Instead, be curious and say: “hello anger, what are you coming to tell me?” 
• Personally, I’m a supporter of plant medicines and have experienced many. This is a way, but only if you truly feel the calling from a deeper level.